Thursday, May 31, 2007

I AM

...selfish, I am wrong
I am right, I swear I'm right
Swear I knew it all along
And I am flawed
But I am cleaning up so well
I am seeing in me now
The things you swore you saw yourself

Hope, dangles on a string
Like slow spinning redemption
Winding in and winding out
The shine of it has caught my eye and roped me in so mesmerizing
so hypnotizing
I am captivated

Tuesday, May 22, 2007

Distorted God

What a day. To say I've experienced paradoxical day would be an understatement.

This morning I got to be in what has become very fun and relaxing environment for me. So, much so that I'm consistently showing up late... I know that's weird, but part of the paradox. The BRSM staff meeting on Tuesday mornings is so great. It's challenging, it's a bunch of my friends, it's fun at Panera. Plus, this morning we added more love to the potion with Steve Mesanko starting his internship with us. What a great guy, and a great addition to the team.

Then, I went to what is most likely the most harsh environment I've ever been to. Today Jerry Falwell was laid to rest, and his funeral took place. Honestly, I was not a huge Jerryfan, but I have been learning how to respect people with different opinions. I've really struggled with this through the death of Dr. Falwell, because well, let's just say I've struggled. Today however, I met people who made my definition of Christian weirdo's change. Westboro Baptist Church, and Shirley ???, the main voice of WBC and godhatesamerica.com, were protesting Jerry's funeral, and we decided to go and interview them, in an attempt to understand them better. I left with the most bitter feeling all over me, not in me mind you. Bitterness spewed from Shirley's mouth, and left me in a weird state. You'd think then walking away and seeing people protest them would be a cheer up, but I seriously have to ask... what good does that do? I felt so much controversy, and so much compassion for the Falwell family today. They couldn't even bury their father, grandfather, husband... in peace.

Then the paradox ramped up as I returned to Blue Ridge, and it's environment of love. That love looks like a hugely dysfunctional family at times, but what love. No one is ever spiteful, or hateful. Plus, I got to spend about 45 minutes talking to God with people who are praising His every movement. What movement lately too.

Crazy day? I vote "YES".

Monday, May 21, 2007

KEWL Day

Yesterday was an amazing day! In fact the worst thing about it was how long it was, and that I didn't get to see my Angel, and my boys very much.

NEways... Blue Ridge this morning... Baptism service which are the BEST ever. A friend of mine named Joe proposed to his ex-wife right before he was baptized, and they are getting remarried... AMAHZING!

After Blue Ridge... Peaks View Park with a bunch of my friends for about 4 hours of playing soccer, basketball, and just general tom-foolery.

Took my friend Andy home afterwards, around 5:30pm... went to my home. Changed clothes into my soccer duds. Played some basketball with MY boys... kissed em bye, and off to Soccer.

Soccer back at Peaks View Park for about hour and a half with my new Kenyan/Ghanan friends. Started getting tired, so off to HOME.

Got home around 8:30pm... watched the 400th episode of The Simpsons... ate a whole can of Pineapple, and fell asleep on the couch with my head almost off the side, and my feet up on the back of the couch... YEAH, don't know how that happened.

Kissed my boys in their sleep, and went to bed myself with my Beautiful wife. She wrapped her arms around me, kissed me goodnight, and that's the last thing I remember.


WHAT A DAY!!! I'm the MOST BLESSED man alive! Off to the Grocery store now!

Saturday, May 19, 2007

Best thing that no one saw

So today I got to go golfing. Unfortunately/fortunately by myself.

I know that statement is weird, but it's true in this case. Generally golfing is a community sport for me. I go with friends, we hang out, trash talk, and all suck together. Today, though I needed some time alone.

See, we're on "vacation" (quotes added for emphasis), and for the past few days my niece has been staying with my in-laws, which in this case means me. First off, being an only child... I can only take a bunch of people for so long, and then I go bezerk. Secondly, I have two boys, who are rough and tumble, and very respectful (I think) and well, my one niece is about to rub me raw. (No offense to my sister, or brother-in-law if you read this).

Actually I should say this... I do love Kaylee, and she can be very sweet, and I'm giving her the benefit of the doubt right now that everything in life has been turned upside down with her mom having a new baby girl, and having some major complications... she may be in the hospital for a while the way things sound. There's really no such thing as a bad kid. I digress though.

So, I go golfing just to escape everyone. What a day... beautiful 80 degree weather. Nice quiet course. Just some retirees on the course hittin around. Me, my bag and the wide open. And then it happened....

Something amazing, and bewildering all at the same time.

I GOT A HOLE IN ONE!

I never thought that would happen to me... I really am a hack. But it did, and here's the paradox.

NO ONE WAS AROUND! I've heard stories from people about getting a hole in one, and no one can vouch, and it's really tough to believe... and then I add my story of HOW to follow, and expect people to believe? Well, actually I expect skepticism, as I would be skeptical of me, had I not seen it with my own eyes.

Here's how it went down:

18th hole
slight breeze behind me
great day already to remember
my best round of golf TO DATE

it's a short hole... only 96 yards
I break out my pitching wedge... take a deep breath and tee off

As happens with me occassionally I pull the ball off to my left. But also to my left is a driving range, and protecting the driving range is a 40 foot high net. My ball careens off of the net, falls to the ground where it bounces off the cart path... taking a HUGE leap that would clear ANY major league ballpark homerun wall. The ball then lands, yes lands, on the green about 4 foot from the hole. Somehow it then finds enough strength after it's perilous journey to roll it's way into the cup.

I LAUGHED OUT LOUD! After looking around and seeing that no one was there... I almost cursed out loud... I just kept them in my head.

Just to help give you some point of view to imagine this with... I took some pictures.

THAT'S MY STORY, AND I'M STICKING TO IT!

Wednesday, May 09, 2007

Eyes

Have you ever heard that eyes are the windows to the soul? I've always been a firm believer of that. Look deep into someones eyes. It's almost like you can see their past and their future slamming together in one amazing transcendent moment... right there in their eyes. Eyes show pain, reveal hopelessness, share joy and release streams of love that we call tears. Enough of my dissertation though... here's my reason.

A few nights ago I looked into the eyes of someone who I had previously seen anger and resentment in their eyes. When we spoke this time though... I saw tenderness. I saw a new future path charted... I saw hope. Which in the circumstance that we were encountering one another, there should not have been hope.

I'm going to stop and look in eyes more... I find amazing things there, but generally am in too much of a hurry to care.