Sometimes I just want to quit...

Today is one of those days.

I feel alone.

I feel helpless to affect life around me.

I feel like everything I do is a mistake, and no one really gets me.

I feel like packing up my family, selling our house and everything in it, both cars and buying one way plane tickets to Hawaii where we'll all live out our lives happily on the beach.


But feelings are just feelings and they will pass. Maybe I need a nap.

Hard and Bad don't have to stay Hard and Bad

I had a weird recognition of my life yesterday. I will round out my 10th year as a Student Ministries Director in about a week. That along with some recent happenings brought me to look back over the past decade. I'll spare you ALL the gritty details, but here's what I've learned.

1. Though a situation looks bleak it never stays that way... at least in 10 years it never has.
2. In the middle of EVERYTHING, there is something to learn.
3. The things that feel the hardest to do, generally end up being the easiest... it was just my brain that made them hard.
4. Quick action sets up a speedy resolve.
5. Communication is key... letting people know what's happening at all times somehow makes the situation easier.
Lastly... Someone has to be positive about it... if you are, you have the chance to change something bad into something good.

I'm definitely still growing in this area. Even as I sit here on the precipice of something large, I'm internally panicking. I can't externally, because it involves Angel, and she needs me to have it together right now. So, I write this to remind me of what I've learned, and this too will take the above turns... I'm sure of it.

Father's Day weirdness....

It's funny... I don't think I've missed my dad in YEARS. Don't get me wrong... I love my dad, and love when he comes and visits and we talk, but miss having him around? NAW!

Today... this Father's Day 2009... I miss my dad. I'm not sure if it's the fear of him dying and me being without him, or the sappy quotes about Father's I've been reading all morning, but I miss my dad.

Thanks Dad for helping to mold me into the man I am today. You may never know it, but I did pay attention.

Working out...

It's funny that you can use the words working out to mean... "Yeah, I'm working out 3 times a week." and "Yeah, that's just not working out."

Unfortunately in my life I use that phrase this way "Working out, just isn't working out."

Last week my wife and I started the push to be healthy once more. Not that we are extremely UNhealthy, but we want to be in better shape than current shape.

See the whole reason we planned to have our boys at the young age that we did, was so we could be lively and active as they got into their teenage years. Plus, we'd still be young when they were out of the house, potentially young grandparents, and through the whole process we'd be spry and active. That takes a lot more effort than it did when I was a teenager, or even in my lower to mid twenties.

So, we start that effort up again, and my shoulders, biceps, triceps, delts, you name it... are sore. Good sore, but sore none the less. Today was supposed to be a cardio day with basketball this morning, but my comrades have left me hanging, so sometime today I have to go it alone. I will enjoy my 30's, 40's and beyond... I know it's possible as I look at a friend of mine Woody who is 30 years older than me, and could probably kick my butt three ways from Thursday.

Time to get this party started