The Beginning of the end...

We left for the states today... I'm unsure of my feelings right now. I can't make heads or tails of what I've seen or even how it's affected me. I love the people I've been here with, and I've seen stuff to change me... just not sure exactly how it will all play out yet.

BTW... Crossing the border back to America is hard

But when you're back... there are advantages.

MMM... In and Out... if you haven't experienced it... you just don't know.

Adventure Day 5

Let's just say... I agreed with this little boy during the service...

"And that's all I have to say about that"

Then we met this lady...Viki!

What an awesome lady...

She has no support from anyone other than herself, and she loves on probably 30-40 kids EVERYDAY. She feeds them... teaches them, and will ultimately CHANGE their lives, because of it!

This was a rollercoaster day.

Well, thank God for fire again. We walked down the blustery beach... bought some wood... made a huge fire, and celebrated our last night in Mexico. I can't really sum up this trip yet... give me time.e

Adventure Day 4

There are some beautiful sights here... and some gross things directly to the left of this picture.

This is Jose Luis' place.


it looks good right?

So, what didn't connect with my soul? It felt strange... I heard nothing about the Holy Spirit... in fact, it felt like "church" as usual. We need to make the "church", translate building... longer, or wider for the people. Really? i guess we'll find out even the necessity of that tomorrow as we will be coming here to worship with the REAL church... the people.

So, let's move to tonight... we made a fire... sat down, talked... LAUGHED... holy cow we laughed. I thought Bridges was going to pee herself. Told more stories about our lives... prayed, and these people are my family now. I love them all in unique ways. They are my brothers... they are my sisters... and I'm changed because of them.

Our time here is waning and it's kinda sad... I love my wife... I miss her... I'd like to even talk to her, but this is really special.

Adventure Day 3

We started our day very similar, but with it's own taste today. We sat in the sun, shared a few stories of our lives... prayed together, and I am feeling SOO close to my adventure-mates.

Then we started out, and we encountered a pretty cool place... at first glance Rancho Genesis feels different from most things we've seen here. It was just put together really well. I could see care?!

And Marcos... Not Ricos (Sorry Bill)

He's an amazing guy. Such a cool calm... God presence about him. He was intriguing to all of us, because he kept saying "Iglesia nuevo". For you who speak only American... that's New Church. He felt a desire for "church" to be different. My heart hooked with his when he said that. Unfortunately with a language barrier, and with him having no context to explain what he means... we didn't get past the surface of that thought. We all want to though...

I think we did other stuff, but that was the highlight! I hope we can talk again, and learn more somehow.

And this is the place that his heart beats fast for... I'll call this Lynchburg, Mexico. The real name is El Zorillo! What a dark dark place. There were multiple church buildings, but no God. We were even threatened by a boy with only one foot while here. Not sure, but I could see God doing some cool things here!

Oh... did I mention that I really like these people God has put me on this trip with... I'm having a blast, and feel really close to God right now... it's AMAZING!

Adventure Day 2

Waking up to this is strange...

We walked on the beach this morning... so dirty, and so full of HUGE shells... the boys will love these.

We ate breakfast... shared some stories, which were AMAZING, prayed together and were off. What a GREAT start to the day.

We met a neat couple named Riggo and Marta that taught a Bible Scohol in a dingy little town...

Then they took us to meet some interesting people that have taught me a little more about life.

These Oaxacan indians (pronounced Wah-Haw-Can) have relatively nothing. The children spend all day everyday alone... they take care of each other. You don't see this as much in American culture... siblings despise little brothers and/or sisters. It's left only to the parents. Now, I'm not saying that parents should abdicate their responsibilities to parent to the kids... but there's something to say about what we saw today. Also... WE HAVE A LOT. It was about 40 degrees today with a strong wind blowing, and most of these kids didn't even have coats... and they were fine. There were no Nintendo DS's... no TV's... just a halfway inflated soccer ball, a few toy trucks (most with at least one missing wheel) and then the children themselves. They would sit in groups to keep warm, and LOVED when we would take pictures of them... when they could see themselves right after.

We need to simplify life.

Then I had one last experience that is AWESOME!

Tacos Los Poblanos...

The picture says it all... AMAZING food, and really cheap.

Oh, and I really like the people I'm here with. We're sharing the stories of our lives... one at a time, and these are AMAZING people. I can't wait to hear more. I LOVE hearing stories.

Beginning an adventure

That's me... leaving Columbus airport on my way to Las Vegas...



On my way to San Diego... on my way ultimately to Mexico...



That's it... my home away from home for a week. Not sure at this point what's going to go on... I'm excited, a little anxious, and thinking that something really cool is going to happen. I'm here with people that I know, but don't KNOW... so, at least I'll get to know them a little better.

There's no heat in this place, and it's a little cold... it's weird leaving my family the day after Christmas, and a little hard leaving Angel as she cried at the airport. Still, I'm on an adventure, and pretty excited about it. Time to sleep... I've been traveling all day, and already done some STUPID things... bringing the keys to the van with me, and having to overnight them back to Ohio for Angel... GOOD JOB MORON!

We'll see what tomorrow holds

Christmastime

Christmas is a little weird when you think about it. We all have the images in our heads... We waste paper by wrapping up boxes of forgettable things that people don't REALLY need... just so we can watch them rip it apart, and we throw the paper away, but save those bows...



Well, it could be different, but while it's not... I had a good one! it is kinda fun when I set my cynicism aside... my boys get excited, and the thing that was amazing for my heart... they were EXTREMELY thankful. Hugging and kissing and showing love to EVERYONE that they were around... whether there was a gift involved or not.

Christmas = LOVE, and I think they are starting to get that.

That was my favorite part this Christmas.

Insulted by my Wii

Yes... I have a Wii...

It's great! I love the family interaction that it can be. I love it because I grew up with Nintendo, and now I get to grow up again with my kids with Nintendo. I love that it has stuff for little kids, and medium kids, and even big kids like me.

One of my new favorite features is calle the "Check Mii Out Channel". It cool because they have contests to create a Mii (avatar) based on a subject, and then people from all over the world vote on it. This strokes my artistic side in a cartoon sort of way, and finds me daily checking to see how my Mii's have done, or if I did well, while voting.


However, today... the Wii and Me... had a falling out. At least the Check Mii Out Channel on the Wii and Me. I had voted for the first time on a group of Tooth Fairy Avatars. And, I don't like the norm... I like things that stretch the boundaries of norm and make a new norm. So, I voted that way! Well, the Wii didn't like that. In fact here's what it said to me:

"The Miis you selected don't really match up with the winners of the contest, but with a little practice, you'll start to see what other people are looking for."

With a little practice I can see what other people are looking for? WHY I OUGHTA! I don't want to practice seeing the world the way that other people do... in fact... sometimes I feel like other people should just see the world the way that I do, and everything would be just grand!

From a gaming system that has broken all the traditional rules of how gaming should look, act and feel... you would think that they would celebrate individuality a little more.

My wife said that I should see this as a compliment, but... it's not working for me just yet.

SO I SAY... PRACTICE SEEING THE WORLD DIFFERENTLY AND MAYBE ONE DAY YOU TOO WILL BE INSULTED BY YOUR Wii!

Coffee and Heroin

Today I met a young man... 21 years young... who's life is in a downward spiral. He started using drugs at 12 years old and progressed from experimenting with marijuana to today being a full blown heroin addict. Honestly though, his addiction to heroin is no different than mine to coffee...

Which got me to thinking... why? Why is one addiction OK, and another one not? Me being addicted to coffee is socially acceptable, heck... it's commercially propelled! Now, I'm comparing coffee and crank I realize, but let's be honest. I get the shakes and cranky and headaches when I don't have coffee. I realize at different times my addiction and desire to break the bond of coffee to me, and will go through weeks of detox where I endure the horrible side-effects of not drinking coffee. Different than detoxing from Heroin? Yes. Similar? Yes.

But addictions are more than coffee and heroin. There are people addicted to porn, alcohol, sex, work, sleep, shopping, eating... you name it! What's the difference? Is there a difference? Maybe culturally there is, but overall... I don't think so.

I wish you enough

As Chrismahanukwanzakah sets in (See video below, and have a freakin sense of humor)...



...the talk has been a lot about what to get the boys, what to get your parents, what to get our friends, and ultimately... what is this all really about?

Well, I'm sorry, but I can't ride the Jesus is the Reason for the Season float. A little research shows otherwise. Plus, if you call yourself a Christ-Follower... Jesus should be the reason for every season. Don't get all spiritual on me because it's Christmas, and you think that a brown haired, blue eyed little caucasian boy was born in Bethlehem, and that the world is going to Hell because the stores don't want to put Merry Christmas up in the windows. I'm sorry, but the God I serve is bigger than that, and probably laughs at all of us... at least I would if I was God... he "probably" has a little more grace than I do.

I digress... My point is, we are rich. As Americans, we are so filthy rich, and have so much, but whine for more. I do it too... don't get me wrong, but it's been getting at my nerves. I'm sure the latest series at Blue Ridge here has added to it as well. I whine because I don't have a house, and don't know how I'll ever buy a house, because the stinkin market is SO REDICULOUS here... but I have a home, with three bedrooms, 2 1/2 bathrooms, it's heated and cooled, the roof doesn't leak, I have a kitchen that is always full of food, 2 televisions, computers, machines to wash my clothes, cook my food, and then clean up after I eat my food, I own 2 cars, and most of all... I have a loving wife and 2 very healthy boys who love me as well.



Below is my wish for you for this Chrismahanukwanzakah... YEAR... LIFETIME...


I wish you enough sun to keep your attitude bright no matter how gray the day may appear.

I wish you enough rain to appreciate the sun even more.
 
I wish you enough happiness to keep your spirit alive and everlasting.
 
I wish you enough pain so that even the smallest of joys in life may appear bigger.
 
I wish you enough gain to satisfy your wanting.
 
I wish you enough loss to appreciate all that you possess.
 
I wish you enough hello's to get you through the final good-bye.

"When I say , 'I wish you enough', I'm wanting you to have a life filled with just enough good things to sustain you".

I want to live a life of enough... not of want for more.

I have a problem...

I did not go to school here:

But when it comes to football... I'm obsessed, and I don't even know why. Honestly, I'm obsessed to the point that it bothers me. I don't konw exactly where it came from. My dad is not an alum... my dad is not a huge fan... it just sort of happened from growing up in Ohio.

For instance... I'm totally bent out of shape right now because the Buckeyes lost their first game today to NO ONE... Illinois. Unranked beating #1. I had to turn the game off at halftime, and go out to not let it get to a REALLY bad place. Then I return home to find that it's happened... they've lost... not a good time in my life.

Why is this? It's a game... not life... not death... not important in the grand scheme of things. I love sports, but if they keep doing this to me... I'm going to have to quit cold-turkey. Wish they had the NCAA patch.

geesh! Well,

Hope I get this ironed out before basketball season... I bleed BLUE during NCAA Basketball!

Keep Moving Forward...

People like Walt Disney have always been inspiring to me. Their stories, and the quotes that have transcended time. I heard a good one recently. Apparently he would tell this to new people coming in, and those interested in the Disney process.

"Around here, however, we don't look backwards for very long. We keep moving forward, opening up new doors and doing new things, because we're curious... and curiosity keeps leading us down new paths."

I think I'm a keep moving forward kind of guy... almost to a fault. Looking back is good, don't get me wrong. I know we learn from the past... in fact I LOVE history too. But if we look back, just to look back, and we keep looking back... well, just try walking that way. It won't turn out well. I love being curious, and heading down new paths. I love seeing where things will take me. Almost being a step behind myself.

Open up doors, do new things... BE CURIOUS, because curiosity may have killed the cat, but it gave the mouse a whole new life.

Thanks for being inspiring Walt!

...Smell my feet, give me something good to eat!

I had forgotten a part of my childhood until Spencer came home from Kindergarten with something new that his teacher had taught him... you all know it, so go ahead and say it out loud, promise it will make any stress go away.

"Trick or Treat... Smell my feet... Give me something GOOD to eat... If you don't... I DON'T CARE... I"ll pull down your underwear!"

Yeah! Good job! Don't you feel better? I mean... what if we really operated life in this manner? What if you went to McD's and applied this? #1... You'd be pullin' some underwear down FO' SHO! Secondly, how would they respond??? Can you imagine the looks?

I know that maybe I shouldn't like Halloween so much, because it's "pagan", but it's hilarious! I love it when people get into it, and have a blast. I love watching my kids dress up...



I love wathing them get excited about their acquisitions of the night...



Maybe pagan holidays have a good plan... HAVE FUN... People will like it!

Remember your childhood... it's good for you! If you didn't get to trick or treat as a wee lad... go for it now... dress up... live vicariously through your kids for halloween. They'll love you for it!

Castastic!!!

Well, I knew it was coming... I kind of expected it sooner, but wanted it later. We had Zach's first cast put on today. It was surreal almost. Watching as a big man, put a little cast on a 3 year old boy. I'm super proud as a dad, because he went 2 weeks with his arm broken without complaining. In fact the day that he broke it... in the moment he broke it... NOTHING! He cried a little, but man... the kid fell down about 8 steps. As a dad... I like the toughness! RAISING KIDS IS HARD!! Here's to all the parents of the world. Real American Heroes.

Frustrating, Amazing, and some other "...ing's"

So, we did a harvest festival today. I don't think anyone expected what happened. As far as I'm concerned... over 7000 people got to see "church" in a different light. Not sure if it will stick, or if it will make a huge difference, but I have a good feeling it will. So many cool comments I heard from people like: "I can't believe they're playing the Rolling Stones" and "I've never seen people like this".



It honestly was a very hard week leading up to this... frustrating with getting things together... people who were going to help backing out for different reasons... some good, others not so good. Packages getting lost, sleep getting lost, sanity getting lost... But I'd do it all over again. I must have met a couple hundred new people, and that's FUN!

I hope we do it again, and you (If you missed out) can come!

FireGOD

I LOVE FIRE! Yeah I said it! Fire is an amazing thing that God made to show us that He's the junk! For you over the age of 25... that's a good thing.

Anyways... have you ever had something that you just hold on to? Maybe someone did something to you? Or you did something that is contrary to the nature of God, and you feel like He could never forgive you for that, and so we hold on to it. It eats at us, and bothers us... BUT WHAT IF YOU COULD LET IT GO?

Ahhhh... but that's the real idea, and this is what God wants to do with it:



So, why are you still holding on? Let it go

So, I just got back from vacation and as you can see it was magical. Though that looks like a postcard, that is actually an Angel Art Original. What a truly amazing time. Riding Dumbo the flying Elephant with Zachary, my three year old son. Not only riding, but giving him the up vertical controls... I never thought you could get sick on Dumbo... it is plausible though. Flying over London with Peter Pan, floating through our small world (with that ANNOYING song playing). Dancing and singing breaking out spontaneously as though I'm in the middle of a real life musical. Go carts driven by 6 year olds, runaway miner trains, mountains that splash and multiple space adventures. All ending with the pièce de résistance... the magnum opus... the fireworks to end all fireworks. Skillfully timed, beautifully executed, tinkerbell flying out of the castle. Well, look at the picture again... you get the idea.

And you may think... that's an amazing vacation... OH, but it ends not there my friends...



That's right... the Beach! Right on the beach... hearing it every morning when I woke. On the beach by 8am... scouring the miles of sand for shells. Watching two little boys get their first taste of salt water... sour looks and all. Floating in waves, squinting at sun, making tie dyed t-shirts... ALL memories that can never be taken from me.

I wish you all... beautiful HOLIDAY with your loved ones... may they burn deep into your souls for eternity.

Somethings Amis

So, I just finished watching Ratatouille, and realized that I must have some type of emotional imbalance going on. I cried at the rats story, and the lives of rats and people intertwining... IT"S A CARTOON!

I'm glad I'm going on vacation on Saturday... I think I need it.

Upgrade power

I just read the craziest thing on Appalachian Power website. It said "Upgrade Power"... seriously, upgrade power? What do you call the power company and say "Hey, this is John... could I get more power, or better power sent over here to my house?" How do you upgrade power... you get to know the power guy and he sends you the best of the power, or the first power that's made that day so you don't have to wait (look close for sarcasm).

The problem with most people though is that we do have a power that we can upgrade... and we just stay with the crappy power. I'm afraid I do this all the time. I have an amazing power source at my disposal, and what do I do? I don't call and ask for it, because it sounds like a ludicrous deal. WHEN WILL I LEARN?

I AM

...selfish, I am wrong
I am right, I swear I'm right
Swear I knew it all along
And I am flawed
But I am cleaning up so well
I am seeing in me now
The things you swore you saw yourself

Hope, dangles on a string
Like slow spinning redemption
Winding in and winding out
The shine of it has caught my eye and roped me in so mesmerizing
so hypnotizing
I am captivated

Distorted God

What a day. To say I've experienced paradoxical day would be an understatement.

This morning I got to be in what has become very fun and relaxing environment for me. So, much so that I'm consistently showing up late... I know that's weird, but part of the paradox. The BRSM staff meeting on Tuesday mornings is so great. It's challenging, it's a bunch of my friends, it's fun at Panera. Plus, this morning we added more love to the potion with Steve Mesanko starting his internship with us. What a great guy, and a great addition to the team.

Then, I went to what is most likely the most harsh environment I've ever been to. Today Jerry Falwell was laid to rest, and his funeral took place. Honestly, I was not a huge Jerryfan, but I have been learning how to respect people with different opinions. I've really struggled with this through the death of Dr. Falwell, because well, let's just say I've struggled. Today however, I met people who made my definition of Christian weirdo's change. Westboro Baptist Church, and Shirley ???, the main voice of WBC and godhatesamerica.com, were protesting Jerry's funeral, and we decided to go and interview them, in an attempt to understand them better. I left with the most bitter feeling all over me, not in me mind you. Bitterness spewed from Shirley's mouth, and left me in a weird state. You'd think then walking away and seeing people protest them would be a cheer up, but I seriously have to ask... what good does that do? I felt so much controversy, and so much compassion for the Falwell family today. They couldn't even bury their father, grandfather, husband... in peace.

Then the paradox ramped up as I returned to Blue Ridge, and it's environment of love. That love looks like a hugely dysfunctional family at times, but what love. No one is ever spiteful, or hateful. Plus, I got to spend about 45 minutes talking to God with people who are praising His every movement. What movement lately too.

Crazy day? I vote "YES".

KEWL Day

Yesterday was an amazing day! In fact the worst thing about it was how long it was, and that I didn't get to see my Angel, and my boys very much.

NEways... Blue Ridge this morning... Baptism service which are the BEST ever. A friend of mine named Joe proposed to his ex-wife right before he was baptized, and they are getting remarried... AMAHZING!

After Blue Ridge... Peaks View Park with a bunch of my friends for about 4 hours of playing soccer, basketball, and just general tom-foolery.

Took my friend Andy home afterwards, around 5:30pm... went to my home. Changed clothes into my soccer duds. Played some basketball with MY boys... kissed em bye, and off to Soccer.

Soccer back at Peaks View Park for about hour and a half with my new Kenyan/Ghanan friends. Started getting tired, so off to HOME.

Got home around 8:30pm... watched the 400th episode of The Simpsons... ate a whole can of Pineapple, and fell asleep on the couch with my head almost off the side, and my feet up on the back of the couch... YEAH, don't know how that happened.

Kissed my boys in their sleep, and went to bed myself with my Beautiful wife. She wrapped her arms around me, kissed me goodnight, and that's the last thing I remember.


WHAT A DAY!!! I'm the MOST BLESSED man alive! Off to the Grocery store now!

Best thing that no one saw

So today I got to go golfing. Unfortunately/fortunately by myself.

I know that statement is weird, but it's true in this case. Generally golfing is a community sport for me. I go with friends, we hang out, trash talk, and all suck together. Today, though I needed some time alone.

See, we're on "vacation" (quotes added for emphasis), and for the past few days my niece has been staying with my in-laws, which in this case means me. First off, being an only child... I can only take a bunch of people for so long, and then I go bezerk. Secondly, I have two boys, who are rough and tumble, and very respectful (I think) and well, my one niece is about to rub me raw. (No offense to my sister, or brother-in-law if you read this).

Actually I should say this... I do love Kaylee, and she can be very sweet, and I'm giving her the benefit of the doubt right now that everything in life has been turned upside down with her mom having a new baby girl, and having some major complications... she may be in the hospital for a while the way things sound. There's really no such thing as a bad kid. I digress though.

So, I go golfing just to escape everyone. What a day... beautiful 80 degree weather. Nice quiet course. Just some retirees on the course hittin around. Me, my bag and the wide open. And then it happened....

Something amazing, and bewildering all at the same time.

I GOT A HOLE IN ONE!

I never thought that would happen to me... I really am a hack. But it did, and here's the paradox.

NO ONE WAS AROUND! I've heard stories from people about getting a hole in one, and no one can vouch, and it's really tough to believe... and then I add my story of HOW to follow, and expect people to believe? Well, actually I expect skepticism, as I would be skeptical of me, had I not seen it with my own eyes.

Here's how it went down:

18th hole
slight breeze behind me
great day already to remember
my best round of golf TO DATE

it's a short hole... only 96 yards
I break out my pitching wedge... take a deep breath and tee off

As happens with me occassionally I pull the ball off to my left. But also to my left is a driving range, and protecting the driving range is a 40 foot high net. My ball careens off of the net, falls to the ground where it bounces off the cart path... taking a HUGE leap that would clear ANY major league ballpark homerun wall. The ball then lands, yes lands, on the green about 4 foot from the hole. Somehow it then finds enough strength after it's perilous journey to roll it's way into the cup.

I LAUGHED OUT LOUD! After looking around and seeing that no one was there... I almost cursed out loud... I just kept them in my head.

Just to help give you some point of view to imagine this with... I took some pictures.

THAT'S MY STORY, AND I'M STICKING TO IT!

Eyes

Have you ever heard that eyes are the windows to the soul? I've always been a firm believer of that. Look deep into someones eyes. It's almost like you can see their past and their future slamming together in one amazing transcendent moment... right there in their eyes. Eyes show pain, reveal hopelessness, share joy and release streams of love that we call tears. Enough of my dissertation though... here's my reason.

A few nights ago I looked into the eyes of someone who I had previously seen anger and resentment in their eyes. When we spoke this time though... I saw tenderness. I saw a new future path charted... I saw hope. Which in the circumstance that we were encountering one another, there should not have been hope.

I'm going to stop and look in eyes more... I find amazing things there, but generally am in too much of a hurry to care.