A day I don't want to remember...

Not sure what happened today.

I had a great day yesterday. Labor Day, had nothing to do but hang with the fam. I played basketball, took a nap, watched two movies and laughed A LOT! You would think after a day like that, that a guy would be Mr. Sunshine and Lollipops. I gotta be honest though... I'm not!

I have been the most judgmental jerk today. Mostly in my heart and head, but it has found it's way out through my mouth/fingers a few times. I've felt disinterested in people and their feelings and have even caught myself desiring to destroy someone with my words. Because "sticks and stones may break my bones, but words will never harm me" is the biggest lie in the history of lies.

I've asked God why I'm feeling this... asked and desired for it to leave. I've confessed this feeling to people around me in hopes that getting it out of me would help it pass. So far, nothing.

So, I come to this place... where I process life. Bear my soul... maybe some video games with the boys will turn it around.

I'm sorry, but why?

I love perusing the "christian" book section while waiting on my sons to pee at Wal*Mart. I find the funniest things there. This one though took the cake.



Who are these books written for? What is the expected result? I'm not trying to be a butt... I just don't get it... Maybe I'm just an idiot and everyone else is so excited to see theses on the shelf.

P.S. I apologize to the writers of said books... didn't mean to crush your experience... you got published *yeah!*

Best I can tell... you just come out 67 minutes ahead if you read these two books back to back. Not much else.

Learned something at a deeper level today

I've been explaining to people lately how as I get older, that the Bible seems to play out more and more right in front of me. Today, not only did I see it, but I felt it.

I've been working out and when I started I bought the armband for my iPod, but as time went on I started noticing how as humans... we are not connected at all. In turn... I was adding to this as I was sinking myself into my own ears whilst pushing weights around. So, I decided to ditch the iPod, listen to the horrible music they play in the gym and actually notice that there are people around me.

That's the set up... keep reading.

Today, as I was traveling from area to area I ran across an older gentleman that I had not seen before. He looked to be about 70, and seemed to be struggling just a bit with his current exercise. I smiled at him, nodded and continued on. Like I said I didn't notice any huge health problems with him outside of normal age wear and tear.

Later in my workout as I was sitting on the Pec Fly machine this same man walked by. This is when it happened. As he walked by, and really I mean as he pulled himself by me, I noticed that there was more going on then I had previously recognized. Apparently he had experienced a stroke, and looked like a sizable one at that. His entire right side was all but incapacitated. He was pulling his right leg, his right arm was basically limp at his side and his face drooped a little. As I'm taking all this in he turned in a reciprocal manner and smiled a crooked little smile at me.

In that moment... I saw my dad. My dad hasn't had a stroke. In fact my dad doesn't have really any health problems. But in his eyes I saw my dad, and my heart broke. Don't get my wrong... I felt bad for this guy on his own, but seeing my dad as my mind fooled me tore me up. I choked and fought back tears, and had to end my workout early.

This moment taught me at a deeper level what Ephesians 6 means when it says "honor your father and mother". Honor the memory of what they've done in the past. Honor the current people that they are. Honor the fact that one day they won't be with you any longer, and you should make the most of this time.

Thanks mom and dad for making my life a real life Cleavers episode... I was/am so blessed, and I'll ALWAYS honor that from this point forward.

REDICULOUS!

So my boys are gone right now... it's still fresh. We dropped them off in Beckley, WV today at 11am with their Grandma Zelda and Grandpa Luigi... (not real names, just the boys names for them).

I know they're in good hands that love them, but I miss them horribly. Angel thinks I'm a little rediculous, but this first night is KILLING ME! I'm so used to playing Nerf Basketball with Zach every night and laughing. We tuck them in, and have a little touch lamp in their room that we act like we blow out. Then as I'm leaving the room and shutting the door I say "See you in the future", but that future is so far away right now that I can't hardly stand it.

Maybe I'm a panz... but I stood in their room, shooting Nerf ball, and crying... missing all the love that has been added to our house by two little boys.

I can't imagine life any other way... all the inconvenience melts away in the overwhelming torrent of the love of my boys.

Our reunion will be GLORIOUS!

Sleep....

I've never been much of an insomniac, but over the past week I've not slept well AT ALL! Not sure what this is all about. I've never been a night guy, meaning I'm ready to sleep around 10 PM. Now though I can't fall asleep until midnight or later and I'm waking up in the middle of the night and still waking up early.

Not sure what's going on here, but I'm not real keen on it. I feel really foggy this morning and the whole speaking for a living gig doesn't fit well with foggy. You have to have a mind about you to string sentences together in an semblance of understandable thought.

We'll see what happens

Keep Moving Forward...

People like Walt Disney have always been inspiring to me. Their stories, and the quotes that have transcended time. I heard a good one recently. Apparently he would tell this to new people coming in, and those interested in the Disney process.

"Around here, however, we don't look backwards for very long. We keep moving forward, opening up new doors and doing new things, because we're curious... and curiosity keeps leading us down new paths."

I think I'm a keep moving forward kind of guy... almost to a fault. Looking back is good, don't get me wrong. I know we learn from the past... in fact I LOVE history too. But if we look back, just to look back, and we keep looking back... well, just try walking that way. It won't turn out well. I love being curious, and heading down new paths. I love seeing where things will take me. Almost being a step behind myself.

Open up doors, do new things... BE CURIOUS, because curiosity may have killed the cat, but it gave the mouse a whole new life.

Thanks for being inspiring Walt!