Ever known a fool?

An old Christian proverb goes something like this:

"A fool finds pleasure in evil conduct, but a person of understanding delights in wisdom."


Have you ever known someone like that? Someone who won't listen no matter what? You see them walking into disaster, something COMPLETELY boneheaded and try to warn them, but you might as well be verbally talking to Helen Keller. It's not getting through.

In fact that proverb makes it out that it's almost like a game to a fool... they find pleasure in their folly.

Not only have I known, and currently know people like this. I have been this person before, and I'm sure I'll do it again.

TIME...

Time is a sly invention.

We all have a set amount of it, and we're not getting anymore. In fact, I'm losing time every second... they just tick, tick, tick away. Time is something we all want to learn how to use better, but are afraid many times to really answer questions like "What did I do today?" or "What did I do this year?"

We make promises to ourselves to "get in shape" this year. Or finish this statement how you last did "I'm going to start..." working out, reading more, studying really hard, spending more time with my family, calling my mom more, eating breakfast. Our intentions as pure as they can be, and yet we fail ourselves.

And if you're anything like me... you realize that you've not done what you wanted to do as time goes by and then you try to make up for your lack of follow through by doing one big push. Me... I say "Oh crap! I haven't been working out consistently" and then I will go at it really hard for one day in the hopes of getting back to where I was when I left off. It doesn't work as you know... I end up hurting myself, or being so sore that when the next day comes around for my workout... I can barely move.

Here's what I know... Small investments of time over long periods gain cumulative results!

So instead of asking "What time is it?"

Start asking a new question...

How am I spending my time?

Because all of the time we are given in our lives will be spent, but will it be used in a way to bring value to our lives?

I don't think I'll ever look back and wish I didn't spend the time eating dinner with my boys... where will you invest small chunks of your time over a long period to bring a cumulative value to your life?

Funny how life changes

in the last 5 years my life has shifted dramatically. Not necessarily all for good, or all for bad, just different.

In high school, college and beyond my life was pretty much centered around music. I was always singing, playing instruments and around people who were like that. I played the sports and stuff, but music was my deal. I loved to sing... still do. I loved to create music with playing the piano and trumpet for many years. Writing songs for our senior show to commemorate people we lost that year. Later, learning to play the guitar and singing favorites like John Mayer, Dashboard Confessional and others.

Then something happened... not sure what, but something. I know my job change affected it to some degree, because music was not a core part of what I "do" anymore. Consequently though I've grown to miss it.

I guess I'm getting "ferclept" because I'm sitting in my basement, looking at two guitars that are covered with dust like old books in an antiquities part of a library. I dream from time to time of getting up like I used to in front of crowds and singing my heart out. Spilling out my soul for everyone to see and walking away feeling more whole than when I arrived. To some it is scary, to me it was fulfilling.

But, alas... that is not my path.

Now I speak, something I would have never seen coming. I'm still uneasy on a weekly basis thinking about it. Stomach churning, mouth getting dry... stuff I never experienced singing. It makes me ask why many times, but I always come back to the same answer.

Singing was easy... Singing is easy... Easy was never promised to me. That almost feels masochistic and I guess in some way it is. I'm losing "my life" to gain "real life"

So, I put that down again... walk away from it... will sing with my heart and let go of the rest.

You spin me around

One of the coolest things happened today! I started my day by dropping my car off with probably the most trustworthy student I've ever known. Kevin Martin, or K-mart as I call him. K-mart grew up Mennonite and I love the story that he is now at Blue Ridge, because those thoughts don't normally fit together.

K-mart is a mechanic at 18 years old and a darn good one from what I hear. He and his friends have offered their abilities and their Saturdays to take my '97 Mitsubishi Galant and make her road worthy once more. Notice I said offered... Kevin came to me... SO COOL! And such a show of their collective hearts.

Not only that, but I'm driving THIS:

Yes... that is a Volvo C70, and it is SWEET!

I LOVE STUDENT MINISTRIES, because I get to watch kids grow up. Kevin is a story of God. He's gone from not talking to anyone, to asking to fix my car and playing the electric guitar in our HS band.

I hope I can be a HS director until I die!

Learned something at a deeper level today

I've been explaining to people lately how as I get older, that the Bible seems to play out more and more right in front of me. Today, not only did I see it, but I felt it.

I've been working out and when I started I bought the armband for my iPod, but as time went on I started noticing how as humans... we are not connected at all. In turn... I was adding to this as I was sinking myself into my own ears whilst pushing weights around. So, I decided to ditch the iPod, listen to the horrible music they play in the gym and actually notice that there are people around me.

That's the set up... keep reading.

Today, as I was traveling from area to area I ran across an older gentleman that I had not seen before. He looked to be about 70, and seemed to be struggling just a bit with his current exercise. I smiled at him, nodded and continued on. Like I said I didn't notice any huge health problems with him outside of normal age wear and tear.

Later in my workout as I was sitting on the Pec Fly machine this same man walked by. This is when it happened. As he walked by, and really I mean as he pulled himself by me, I noticed that there was more going on then I had previously recognized. Apparently he had experienced a stroke, and looked like a sizable one at that. His entire right side was all but incapacitated. He was pulling his right leg, his right arm was basically limp at his side and his face drooped a little. As I'm taking all this in he turned in a reciprocal manner and smiled a crooked little smile at me.

In that moment... I saw my dad. My dad hasn't had a stroke. In fact my dad doesn't have really any health problems. But in his eyes I saw my dad, and my heart broke. Don't get my wrong... I felt bad for this guy on his own, but seeing my dad as my mind fooled me tore me up. I choked and fought back tears, and had to end my workout early.

This moment taught me at a deeper level what Ephesians 6 means when it says "honor your father and mother". Honor the memory of what they've done in the past. Honor the current people that they are. Honor the fact that one day they won't be with you any longer, and you should make the most of this time.

Thanks mom and dad for making my life a real life Cleavers episode... I was/am so blessed, and I'll ALWAYS honor that from this point forward.

Hard and Bad don't have to stay Hard and Bad

I had a weird recognition of my life yesterday. I will round out my 10th year as a Student Ministries Director in about a week. That along with some recent happenings brought me to look back over the past decade. I'll spare you ALL the gritty details, but here's what I've learned.

1. Though a situation looks bleak it never stays that way... at least in 10 years it never has.
2. In the middle of EVERYTHING, there is something to learn.
3. The things that feel the hardest to do, generally end up being the easiest... it was just my brain that made them hard.
4. Quick action sets up a speedy resolve.
5. Communication is key... letting people know what's happening at all times somehow makes the situation easier.
Lastly... Someone has to be positive about it... if you are, you have the chance to change something bad into something good.

I'm definitely still growing in this area. Even as I sit here on the precipice of something large, I'm internally panicking. I can't externally, because it involves Angel, and she needs me to have it together right now. So, I write this to remind me of what I've learned, and this too will take the above turns... I'm sure of it.

Spencer's big night...

1st Corinthians 1:30


That was the note where things started coming together. Spencer copied that from the screen in the Big Room during the 1st Wednesday service last night. I honestly thought he was doodling on his little pad of paper, but when I looked over I see him writing "Christ Jesus". Then I realized "He's copying this verse.

As I helped him get it written down, because he was so adamant that it must be done, I internally asked myself. "Why is he doing this?" I got the answer to that question quickly.

Spencer looks at me after copying words like righteousness, holiness and redemption and says quietly "What does this mean dad?" WHOA! In my brain I stammered like a bumbling idiot. How do I take something so huge. Something that Spencer has been asking questions about for a YEAR now, and break it down succinctly. "COME ON JOHN" I was yelling at my inner self "You're a weekly communicator, you can do this!" Not sure if I was pumping myself up, or scared to death. What came out was definitely simple, but I was unsure of it's impact upon my initial delivery. I said "Well, it means that you aren't good enough on your own." To which Spencer quickly responded "I know that dad." "I need Jesus!"

What happened then can only be captured if you have seen the show Scrubs. The main character JD (appropriate) has conversations inside his head all the time that we, the audience, are opened up to through the magic of television. That is me at this point.

"I can't believe he just said that. Is he really putting all this together. Has a years worth of conversations, and struggles, and Spencer getting frustrated with us culminated at this point?"

Then my eye was caught by Angel who mouthed to me "What's going on?" I mouthed back with tears in my eyes "I think he gets it!"

Communion was going on at this point, and I had a stale cracker and the tiniest cup of juice known to man in my hand. Uncharacteristically we were being walked through communion by Jeremy tonight. Again, inside I'm bursting waiting for this to end so I can take Spencer to a more conducive environment to have a conversation. A few minutes later that ended and as we transitioned in the Big Room to the next element... Spencer and I slipped out across the atrium, through the high school room and into my office.

I can't tell you how hard my heart was beating at this point. SO MUCH PRESSURE! He's seven years old. I really don't want him to do the whole "I said a prayer at 7, but it didn't mean anything" deal. And I can't control that, but I can be careful. So, the question is: Where do I go with this conversation when I reach my office?

I'll spare you the every little detail, but let's put it this way. Over the next 20 minutes I asked lots of questions, we read lots of snippets of the Bible, and he got it! He knew what sin was. He knew he was a sinner. He knew about Jesus, and that Jesus and God are the same person. And with little tears in his eyes he said "Dad, I want to have a relationship with God." WHOA! You dream of that moment as a father who is a Christ-follower. I always was kinda jealous every week he went to Kid Stuf thinking that he might step over that line without me, but here it was.

We read Romans 10:9-10 and talked about what it meant and then I said... "Would you like to do that?" Spencer didn't speak... just a little grin, and a shake of the head. I told him that I wanted him to pray and just tell God what he wanted. Honestly at this point I expected something small and very childish. That's not what I heard. I heard "God, thank you for Jesus. Thank you for loving me. I want you to take my whole life, and I want to live for you. I love you" I had told Spencer that I would pray after he did, but oxygen was just not getting into my lungs... I breathed out REALLY hard, and then with a gush I just thanked God for that moment, and asked that He would help me as a father to help Spencer. To never impede his relationship by provoking Spencer.

When we both looked at each other... my little man Grabbed me around my neck, and SQUEEZED me so hard, I thought I would pass out. He could do nothing but smile. We left my office, and as we walked into the atrium... everything was ending. You would have thought Spencer won a $1000. He was telling everyone what had happened to him.

I left from there that night excited, and scared. Excited that my son had grown to this place in life... scared, because the stakes had been raised on me as a father.

Now, we introduce him to the Holy Spirit, and how to live everyday in every moment WITH JESUS. Now we all learn how to ABIDE and REMAIN in Christ TOGETHER.

Oh, and we gave Spencer his first job in following Christ. To show his brother a good picture of following Christ.

One down, one to go! I always thought as a father that I would be teaching my kids... I never realized how much they would teach me.

Thank you God for my little boys.

FireGOD

I LOVE FIRE! Yeah I said it! Fire is an amazing thing that God made to show us that He's the junk! For you over the age of 25... that's a good thing.

Anyways... have you ever had something that you just hold on to? Maybe someone did something to you? Or you did something that is contrary to the nature of God, and you feel like He could never forgive you for that, and so we hold on to it. It eats at us, and bothers us... BUT WHAT IF YOU COULD LET IT GO?

Ahhhh... but that's the real idea, and this is what God wants to do with it:



So, why are you still holding on? Let it go