Day of 9's

Today is 9-9-9... it's currently 9am, so I thought I'd read some wisdom from the 9th chapter of Proverbs. The 9th verse smacked my face, and really was unsettling in many ways.

Save your breath for the wise—they'll be wiser for it;
tell good people what you know—they'll profit from it.

That seems to make no sense at first glance. You can read that this way. Don't waste your time with fools, just talk to people who are wise. Shouldn't someone who is wise talk to someone who is struggling? How would the fool ever find help if all the wise people shunned him like, well... a fool?

After I took a breath... I got it.

My dad used to say "Son, there are two types of people. Some listen and learn, others live and learn. Which will you be?"

Meaning that some people can talk to someone and learn something and stay away from a bunch of guilt and regret in life. Other people say "yeah, whatever" and have to live, build up guilt and regret and then they'll look back and know what they "should" have done. That person is a fool.

So, it's not about not saying anything to someone who acts like a fool, and not trying to help. But, it is realizing that some people some times... just need to live and learn, and at the end of that road they will look back and say "OHHHH, that's what they meant." "Stupid"

Ever known a fool?

An old Christian proverb goes something like this:

"A fool finds pleasure in evil conduct, but a person of understanding delights in wisdom."


Have you ever known someone like that? Someone who won't listen no matter what? You see them walking into disaster, something COMPLETELY boneheaded and try to warn them, but you might as well be verbally talking to Helen Keller. It's not getting through.

In fact that proverb makes it out that it's almost like a game to a fool... they find pleasure in their folly.

Not only have I known, and currently know people like this. I have been this person before, and I'm sure I'll do it again.

TRUST...

I had a really cool moment today. In our staff meeting there was a moment of discussion that lead to a point of a trust in the people who lead us, or not. I had definitely become a person that didn't trust anyone... especially church leaders, and I didn't flinch. I trust the people who lead me, and I had no problem trusting them here too.

I watched as some people asked a lot of questions, not that the questions were bad at all, and I just sat there.

This is a nice new place. I like feeling comfortable with my leaders.

Things I don't like about me...

For almost all my life I've struggled with giving wrong perceptions of myself. It looks a couple of different ways, and no matter what I do to try to combat this I still fall WAY short.

It takes form of people saying that they are intimidated by me. If I was really tall, and super buff I'd have a little more understanding of this one. My wife said it's my eyebrows... that they grow angrily. SO, I trimmed my eyebrows like a super-metro. I was told by someone else that it was because I always have an answer for things. So, I started telling everyone, and I mean EVERYONE "I'm not sure... let me get back to you". Still, nothing! A close friend told me that I needed to walk out of conversations feeling like a pushover, and that my natural personality would balance me out to normal. NOTHING!

THIS IS SUCH A FRUSTRATION IN MY LIFE! I literally sat in my office yesterday after hearing about this happening again and cried. I am at such a loss.

UNFORTUNATELY, it doesn't just end there.

Seems as though at a very high rate of failure I misrepresent my thoughts to people. Somehow I give a perception that is contrary to my heart in situations. I have conversations with people, walk away from them and think "WOW, that was awesome! We really saw eye to eye there." Then I hear later that the other parties takeaway was no where, where I thought we were. So, one conversation has to then become two or three, because I have to go back and seek to understand and ask forgiveness and begin all over to move through the miscommunication.

I HAVE to think that this is a problem with me. It happens at too high of a rate with me, and not as much with other people.

So, I don't know if I need to come with some type of disclaimer or guarantee of satisfaction statement?

Ever felt attacked?

I just felt that way, and the picture represents what it did to me. My thoughts everywhere, and it was hard to distinguish me and God. I know it didn't honor God in everything I did... that's a hard place to come to. Hope I learn something from this.